I just talked to a friend of myne...and although I was doing the majority of the talking (typing), she helped me realize something... If my mystery lady wants me...she will come to me... How's the saying go... If you want something, let it go... If it comes back to you, then it was yours from the start... If it doesn't... It was never yours to begin with...
I'm pretty sure that'z not how the saying goes... I just pulled that outta' my ass... But, you get my point!
I still have to make an entry explaining the history between my mystery woman, we'll call her "Halo", and myself, but since that won't be happening tonight, let me say this briefly...
When she wanted me, I was with Lauren... And at the time, I couldn't see past that... I couldn't fathom anyone else being right for me... And I was wrong... She was right for me... She was right for me then...and although she wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire, I still believe she is right for me now...
However, when she saw how serious I was, or thought I was, about Lauren, she backed off... She backed off completely... She gave me my space, let my relationship unfold, and in due tyme... it was over... And despite countless attempts on both of our parts to make it work, in the end, we realized that we really weren't meant to be... And although I REALLY don't want to, just as Halo gave me space to make my own mistakes and judgements, I must do the same for her... I need to give her the time and space to see who is right for her... She is head over heelz in love with her boyfriend ryte now, and all I can do now is get in the way, piss her off, and spoil any chance I ever have in the future, at winning her heart... So, with that said... I'm gonna back off a bit, and see what happenz... *smile*
I know it soundz cheezy, but itz true... I thynk about her E-V-E-R-Y day... I haven't seen her in over a year, and yet her cute little gap-toothed smile iz lyke a carbon copy replica in my mynd... I had more fun with her in a week and a half than I ever had in year and some change with Lauren... Yeah, Lauren and I had some good timez... But, because of our age disparity, we were never really able to do all the things that I may wanted to do... We were never really able to connect in every way possible... We did the best with what we had, but it was never what it could have, and should have been... And not to sound redundant, but I thynk about Halo AT LEAST once E-V-E-R-Y day... And honestly, I prolly will continue to do so, until either Cupid shootz her in the ass and convinces her to give me another chance, or until someone else comes along to take her place in my mynd... *cue awwz & love music* lolz...
Ok, that'z enough borderline stalker talk for one evening... Itz 1:29 a.m...
...only time will tell...
Peace...
